Is Sexually Abusing A Child Forgivable?

He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to loveMartin Luther King Jr. We’ve all seen those short, inspirational quotes encouraging us to lead better lives. However well meaning they may be, the ones promoting forgiveness make me feel angry, hurt and belittled. You see, I'm unable to forgive … Continue reading Is Sexually Abusing A Child Forgivable?

Unanswered Questions

It was a short and unremarkable tweet that drew my attention to just how many unanswered questions many victims of child sexual abuse carry.  Flicking through my imaginary biography, paragraphs thick with guilt and shame have been cut out by those who betrayed me, naively thinking I wouldn’t notice. And whole pages are missing where … Continue reading Unanswered Questions

Why I Didn’t Tell

I was six, maybe seven years old. I was in my bedroom with my favourite dolls carefully arranged in the houses I’d made for them out of shoe boxes. Their furniture and belongings were made from cardboard, odd bits and bobs and plenty of imagination. But I wasn’t playing with them. Instead my grandfather was … Continue reading Why I Didn’t Tell

Examinations………Internal Ones

Many victims of child sexual abuse find internal examinations particularly distressing and can freeze, have panic attacks or disassociate. But to me, whether performed by a man or woman, they are as stressful as popping into a local shop to buy sweets. Once I even fell asleep whilst lying half naked waiting for one, such … Continue reading Examinations………Internal Ones

A Criminal Court Case. Is it worth it?

Most people agree that it’s important that paedophiles are brought to justice for their crimes. However, after making a formal complaint to the police regarding my child molesting grandfather, I was left wondering whether it had been worth it. Firstly, the police investigation has left me deeply traumatised and I apologise if this makes for … Continue reading A Criminal Court Case. Is it worth it?