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Dirty DNA

The first things to go were objects that he’d touched. I couldn’t hold any of them without washing my hands afterwards in a vain attempt to wash him away, his dirt, his crimes. Photographs followed. But I didn’t just cut out his images leaving a hole as a reminder of my abhorrence of him, each … Continue reading Dirty DNA

Why I Didn’t Tell

I was six, maybe seven years old. I was in my bedroom with my favourite dolls carefully arranged in the houses I’d made for them out of shoe boxes. Their furniture and belongings were made from cardboard, odd bits and bobs and plenty of imagination. But I wasn’t playing with them. Instead my grandfather was … Continue reading Why I Didn’t Tell

How To Normalise The Abnormal

I’ve written this piece for the ‘Survivors Of Abuse’ campaign to raise awareness of grooming. I will never know what went on in my grandfather’s mind, but this is my interpretation of his thoughts from things he said and did. I apologise if you find this uncomfortable to read. There’s nothing really wrong with it. … Continue reading How To Normalise The Abnormal

Welcome to my blog site, exploring the taboo subject of child sexual abuse

Perpetrators of child sexual abuse thrive on silence. I believe that it was the stigma and silence surrounding this topic, that allowed a paedophile to assault me and other children, and for his crimes to be swept under the carpet.

I locked away the distressing memories of the sexual offences committed against me until I was recently forced to revisit them when I embarked on a court case against the perpetrator. I have since been scouring the internet and listening to podcasts, documentaries and other survivors’ experiences, in an effort to process what happened to me and try to make sense of it all.

What is clear, is that this subject is still very much taboo and many myths surround it. I’m keen to share my experiences and observations to help break this silence that impedes children’s safety, and also to free victims of the burden of secrecy that we all too often carry.

Nicole Caroli